Always There
by jjcrimminds
Summary: She was smiling at me, and I almost believed that it was genuine. But then I saw the flicker in her eyes. It held sadness and pain. And as my eyes flickered down to her flat stomach, I understood. She never had that baby.


**I'm back! I'm sorry I haven't updated **_**The Past is Never Forgotten **_**in a really long time. I just needed to take a break from it. I'm not really sure where I'm going with it, so if anyone has any suggestions, you can private message me. Well, here's a new one shot to make up for my absence. I hope you like it! P.S, this story is strictly an Emily/JJ friendship. No romance intended. However, if that's what you prefer, then I'll leave it to your imagination!**

_July 2010_

Emily and JJ sat together on the couch. They were headed to London, where JJ would give Emily her new identity.

"Come on JJ. Something's obviously different about you. You commandeered an Interpol jet." Emily said, looking at her friend.

JJ sighed. "Emily…" she said, not wanting to tell anyone just yet. Emily reached out and put her hand on JJ's shoulder. "It's okay JJ, you know you can tell me anything."

JJ smiled at her friend and took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant." She told her. Emily's jaw dropped in surprise. After the shock wore off, a large grin lit up her face. "Oh my God, JJ that's great! Congratulations!" She said, leaning over to hug her.

JJ returned the hug, and finally pulled away. "I know. Will and I have been trying, it's just...I never thought I would find out about it in a war zone." She told Emily, looking down.

Emily hugged her again. "Have you told Will yet?" JJ shook her head. "No, I want to wait until I get home. He's going to be so happy." She said with a grin.

Emily smiled at her friend's excitement. "I wish I could be there for you." JJ took Emily's hand. "You will be Emily. We'll get him, I promise. And then you'll come home."

Emily sighed. "You don't know that. Doyle's a skilled man. If he wants to stay hidden, he will." JJ look Emily right in the eyes. "I do know, Emily. I will do everything in my power to find him. And I will."

Two hours later, JJ sat outside a small café in Paris. Emily walked up to her table and sat down. JJ slid the folder in her hands across the table. "Passports from three different countries and a bank account in each one to keep you comfortable."

Emily picked up the folder. "Thank you." She told her. JJ nodded. "Good luck." With that, Emily got up from the table and walked away, never looking back.

_February 2011_

The team was close to catching Doyle. He was tracking his son Declan, and it was only a matter of time before he got to him. Hotch knew he needed to call Emily.

On his way to the conference room, Hotch pulled JJ aside. "It's time." He told her. "Are you sure? Do we really need to do this?" JJ asked him. Hotch nodded. "We need to. She's our only chance at catching Doyle." JJ sighed. "Alright. I'll gather the team."

Once everyone was in the conference room, Hotch walked in. "Welcome back." Morgan told him. "Thanks." Hotch replied. "Everyone take a seat." He told the team. Morgan, however, was skeptical. "Why? What's going on, is everything alright?" he asked Hotch.

Hotch closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize her. She was airlifted was Boston to Pathezdo undercover at exfiltration."

The team was now looking at each other as they were overwhelmed with emotion. Hotch continued to speak. "Her identity was strictly need to know. She stayed there until she was well enough to travel. She was reassigned at Paris where she was given several identities, none of which we had access to for security."

Garcia look right at Hotch with tears in her eyes. "She's alive?" She said with a shaky voice. Hotch looked away from her. Reid spoke next. "But we buried her." He said in a small voice.

Hotch looked down. "As I've said, I take full responsibility for this decision. If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me.

Morgan was growing angrier by the second. "Any issues? Yeah I got issues." He was cut off from the sound of heels on the ground. The whole team turned to look as Emily came to a stop at the end of the hallway.

_(Emily POV)_

The whole team was staring at me. My eyes wandered over each face, committing each detail to memory. Morgan looked angry, as I expected. Reid looked confused, and Garcia looked as if she had seen a ghost. In some ways, she had. Rossi gave me a knowing look, and I suspected that he had already figured everything out long ago.

I looked to Hotch. He had a beard, which was unusual. He wasn't smiling, but I could see the welcome in his eyes. Lastly, my eyes drifted to JJ. She was the one person who helped me through everything, and for that, I could never repay her.

When I saw her, I was confused. Shouldn't she be pregnant? I thought back to our time on the plane together. _That was seven months ago, so she probably already had the baby. But…if she had the baby, then why isn't she on maternity leave? _I was confused. I'd have to ask her about it.

As I neared the table, everyone stood up and gave me a hug. Garcia squeezed the life out of me. Reid gave me a timid hug. I held Morgan tight, knowing he needed the reassurance. Rossi clapped me on the back. When I reached Hotch, he held out a hand for me to shake. I just smiled and gave him a hug. He returned it heartily.

Finally, I was in front of JJ. She was smiling at me, and I almost believed that it was genuine. But then I saw the flicker in her eyes. It held sadness and pain. And as my eyes flickered down to her flat stomach, I understood.

She never had that baby.

When I looked back up at her, I could tell that she knew I knew. "I'm so sorry." I choked out, my grief for what she went through overwhelming. I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

I could feel her thin body slightly quivering in my grasp. And as I felt a trickle roll down my neck, I realized that she was crying. I held her tighter, tears coming to my own eyes.

When I finally pulled away, JJ swiped hastily at her eyes, trying to get rid of the evidence before anyone saw it. However, Morgan saw. Anger ripped through his body.

"What the hell JJ? Do you seriously think that you get to cry? You knew! You knew Emily was alive and you did nothing! Do you know what we went through?"

As Morgan continued to yell at her, JJ just stood there and took it. Everything he was saying was true, even if it wasn't what she was crying about. She looked at the floor, wincing every time Morgan's yelling pierced her ears.

I, however, was becoming increasingly angry. "ENOUGH!" I yelled at Morgan. He immediately shut his mouth. I stepped forward. "We get it alright? We know how much this situation hurt you. But you don't know everything. So you can't just waltz in here and scream at JJ, because this wasn't her fault. It wasn't anyone's but Doyle's. So you need to get your head out of your ass. She wasn't even crying for me! Either way, do you think she deserves you yelling at her? You don't know what she's been through!" I yelled at Morgan, my emotions overtaking me.

Morgan just stood there, shocked at how angry Emily was. But her last sentence stuck with him. "What do you mean "what she's been through"? And if she wasn't crying for you, then who was she crying for?" He asked Emily, his eyes darting over to JJ, who stood silently with watering eyes.

My eyes widened at Morgan's words. I hadn't meant to let that slip. I turned to look at JJ, who gave an indiscernible shake of her head. Instead of answering him, I spun around and took JJ's arm. I gently guided her out of the conference room, and took her to her old office. I shut the door, and turned to JJ.

She was sitting on the edge of her old desk, looking down at the ground. "He's right, you know. I betrayed this whole team." I quickly moved and sat next to JJ. "You know that's not true, JJ. You did what you had to do. You were given orders, and you had no choice but to follow them. And guess what? I'm alive because of it. Because of _you_." I told her.

She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. I could see the doubt swimming there, so I grasped her hand and wrapped my right arm around her waist. She leaned into me.

I took a deep breath. It was time to address the real situation. "Does Will know?" I asked her softly. JJ tensed against me, but soon relaxed. She knew what I was talking about. "No. I never had the chance to tell him I was pregnant. I figured why tell him what he lost when he never knew he had it in the first place."

I sighed, and held her tighter. "How did it happen?" JJ let out a sob. Through her tears, she spoke. "I was in Afghanistan. My partner and I were enroute to a new location that we would continue to work from. Our convoy was attacked. Someone had planted IED's underneath our Humvees."

My breath caught at the thought of JJ in a warzone. I know she had told me before, but hearing the reality was scary. She continued with her story. "When I regained consciousness, I was in a medical tent. One of my colleagues told me that I had lost the baby." JJ let out another sob, but this time, she couldn't stop it. Once the floodgate opened, there was no closing it.

I let her cry on my shoulder, her tears wetting my shirt. I let a few escape myself. I was overcome with sadness for JJ. She had wanted another child for so long, and now that she had finally gotten one, it had been ripped away from her. It wasn't fair, but is anything really?

When her tears subsided, JJ lifted her head. She wiped her eyes. She took a few deep breathes before standing up. "It was one of the worst things that has happened to me. But I'm coping. Right now, we need to focus on you Emily. It's time we catch this bastard." JJ said.

I was a little shocked at JJ's total mood change. But I realized that that was what she did. It's how she compartmentalizes. She slips the press mask over her face and reigns in her emotions. I admired her for it. "We're not done, JJ. I promise, anytime it feels like too much, tell me, okay? You know I'm always here for you." I said, standing up.

JJ gave me a small smile. "I know, Em. And the same goes to you. Thank you. For everything." She said, giving me one last hug before leaving the room. I smiled in her wake. I knew that when I needed her, JJ would be there.

She always was.


End file.
